On one of the Usenet groups I sometimes read, someone posted an account of her life as child and parent that I found both impressive and moving. Here it is.
I had an eerily similar childhood. It took a lot of work to break inherited habits and to learn to relate to others constructively.
Today, with two extraordinary kids and having just celebrated fourteen years of the best marriage I could ever imagine, if I died today I would say I had one of the happiest lives anyone could have ever had. I sometimes think about what it would be like to go back an relive the past with a more constructive set of parents, but then realize I would not be where I am today. I wouldn't take that chance.
Somehow I suspect a story of someone overcoming adversity, not through determination and perseverance, but by being accepted and raised in a nurturing environment by a socialist commune would not impress or move you very much. :/
There was an unfolding in her own narrative that I felt uneasy with -- partly because I had felt it, and partly because I hadn't felt it as fully as she had. Go figure.
So the moral of the story is, make sure you have a shitty life, so you have something to overcome and have a wonderful life after wards. It is so ironic how adversity is GOOD. My childhood was also horrible. I am surprised I am not in prison or dead. But that is part of who I am and I am glad it happened, because it gave me the ferocity and determination that is lacking in apathetic middle age kids who had everything provided for them.
Condolences to you and your family on the passing of your mother. I've read some of your parents' writing, and they are two of my real heroes in the world.
Let me join in extending condolences on the death of your mother. There are those for whom one hopes that death will make an exception, and she was among them.
23 comments:
Here's that post, on Google Groups.
Amazing. All of the ingredients for the perpetuation of tragedy, but an unwillingness to allow it to happen.
I had an eerily similar childhood. It took a lot of work to break inherited habits and to learn to relate to others constructively.
Today, with two extraordinary kids and having just celebrated fourteen years of the best marriage I could ever imagine, if I died today I would say I had one of the happiest lives anyone could have ever had. I sometimes think about what it would be like to go back an relive the past with a more constructive set of parents, but then realize I would not be where I am today. I wouldn't take that chance.
I have read this post and found it very interesting.
Somehow I suspect a story of someone overcoming adversity, not through determination and perseverance, but by being accepted and raised in a nurturing environment by a socialist commune would not impress or move you very much. :/
How can you overcome adversity while living in a socialist commune? Aren't the two mutually exclusive by definition?
There was an unfolding in her own narrative that I felt uneasy with -- partly because I had felt it, and partly because I hadn't felt it as fully as she had. Go figure.
I didn't see in the story that she made sure that her kids had what she missed most--a good father.
Can you change your blog so it has a link to "older posts" at the bottom so I can go back through?
I suppose by now you've noticed the archive links on the right side.
David,
Where are you?
Matt (avid reader)
"Where are you?"
At the moment, above Denver, visiting with my wife's brother.
I live in San Jose.
I am sorry to hear of your mother's passing.
My condolences.
Very sorry to hear about your mother's passing. Take care.
My condolences. Your mother seemed like a wonderful person.
David,
I was saddened to hear about your mother. My deepest condolences.
Sheldon
You have my condolences.
Just read about your mother's passing. Sincere condolences to you and your family.
Best wishes.
- a long time reader
So the moral of the story is, make sure you have a shitty life, so you have something to overcome and have a wonderful life after wards. It is so ironic how adversity is GOOD. My childhood was also horrible. I am surprised I am not in prison or dead. But that is part of who I am and I am glad it happened, because it gave me the ferocity and determination that is lacking in apathetic middle age kids who had everything provided for them.
Condolences to you and your family on the passing of your mother. I've read some of your parents' writing, and they are two of my real heroes in the world.
Let me join in extending condolences on the death of your mother. There are those for whom one hopes that death will make an exception, and she was among them.
David,
I'm sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.
Rose Friedman RIP. I'm sorry
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